2016

Feet are up (okay, they're on the ground, but they're "up"), I have a delicious glass of wine, I have snacks, the little one is sleeping, and I'm watching a binge-worthy amount of Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce. 2016 is ending in mere hours, and I am pretty happy right now. Not to see it end, but because I'm relaxing. Yay!

These moments are few and far between, but when they happen, I LOVE THEM!!! And I don't love them because it's New Year's Eve (that has a little to do with it), but I love them because that means I am taking some time out for myself. Each night I do take an hour or so to check emails, catch up on some shows (Vanderpump Rules, anyone??), and to try and decompress. By the time I turn around, it's after 10, and my alarm will go off at 5am for work. Fun, right??? Nooooo.

This year I will make more time for myself. I will read more books and check them off my never ending book list. I will get a haircut before I look like I'm homeless. Taking a barre fusion class has been on my mind for months. I'm doing it! I'll de-stress by using my Mandala coloring books. (Don't judge till you try it. I <3 them and I <3 coloring...and they work!) My health and fitness journey is always a concern of mine. Always. I'm making it a top priority. 

Here's to 2017, the year where I think a little more about myself. Just a little. 

Inspiration in Unlikely Places

When I'm inspired by something, I latch onto it. I tend to become borderline obsessed with it. (Netflix, Reese's Pieces, a good book. This list can go on forever...). But I'll admit it. The one thing I continually cannot wrap my head around is being able to get in shape. Here we go. Another person with a New Year's resolution about getting in shape, you say to yourself. And yes, you're probably right, but for me it's so much more than that. I have been inspired.

All my other past attempts at getting in shape have come from a deep place. A good place. They have started off with a lot of momentum behind them, and then slowly but surely, they lose steam. Last year I started off great and then really hurt myself in March. That put a damper on everything going forward. I had a goal, but not really. I just wanted to workout, see a change, and feel better. Those are great goals. In the summer I started to amp up how much exercise and movement I did per week. I started going to the gym more, and I branched out and took some new classes. They were fun, but I kept going back to my one love, Spin class. (What did you think I was going to say?!) ;-) I began running more, and I tried training for another marathon. Once again, it didn't work out. Something had to change, but again, I fell back into my old, comfortable ways. 

Recently, I opened my eyes. I mean really opened my eyes. I have been working at a gym for 6 years. My friend from the gym started blogging and sharing her fitness tips and words of wisdom about her healthy lifestyle. She had been hesitant to start writing and sharing her thoughts, but she finally did it. She questioned herself like we all do, but once she set her mind to it, the results were really great. THAT is what has me inspired. No, I'm not going to start a different blog (although I'm definitely going to write more frequently on this blog!). I am going to push all my negative thoughts and questions aside, and I'm going to push forward. Even when I don't want to. 

It probably sounds ridiculous, but I can never get out of my own way. I never tell myself to just do it. It's always a constant struggle. I push so hard from the start and I end up burning out quickly. I need some motivation, some goals, and maybe even a mental picture. Luckily, this time my husband is joining me on this journey, so we will both have support and motivation from each other. :-) I'm not even waiting for the new year. I start tomorrow...slow, steady paces, but I start tomorrow. 

Where was I going with this post? I have no idea! Haha. I need to put this out there in hopes that people can relate to all my ramblings. Men and women have both been there, so it's not at all uncommon. My bottom line is to open your eyes, see what inspires you, and then take that feeling and run. Literally or figuratively! My change for me is about getting in shape and making a transformation. For you, it might be something totally different.

I'm leaving you with this awesome quote that I posted on my Facebook page tonight. 
      "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first           place."  - Unknown

These Asics Are Made For Running, And That's Just What They'll Do!

I'm officially in week 3 of my training plan that will get me to my half marathon goal. I've come a long way since day 1 when I could barely run a half mile, BUT...I still have no idea how I will ever be able to run 13.1 miles! I have to put it all in perspective because I know the race isn't until May. I'm not looking to come out on top during this marathon. I just want to finish.  On this journey, I've come to learn a few things about myself.

1.  I hate running on the treadmill. When I started "running" (I'll put the word running in quotes because I hardly feel like I'm even doing that! Shuffling, barely jogging, walking fast...that just about sums up my ability.) Anyway, when I started running, I thought the treadmill was amazing. I was building endurance and strength, I was watching my minutes per mile go down, and I was watching my speed increase. Total BS! As soon as we had a nice day, I got out on the road, and what the hell...I ran so slow, and I had to stop so many times. The treadmill basically pushes you along, but if you're out on the road, your body is what propels itself. For me, it actually feels better to run outside than it does on the treadmill. Call me crazy, but I feel it doesn't leave my legs as sore, and I get less shin splints. Win/Win!

2.  I don't know how to run. Is that weird to say? Well, it's true! I don't know how to run! Just move your legs and your arms. Uh huh, uh huh. But it's not that simple. I never realized how technical running can be sometimes. (Maybe not to you seasoned runners out there, but for me...I'm constantly thinking about it!) Fine, I won't overthink it. Just like a coworker told me today, "It's really just one foot in front of the other." You know what? Good advice. I'm taking it.

I'm pretty sure this is a caricature of me.

3.  Music is everything. Anyone who knows me knows that music is my life. I eat, sleep, and breathe music. I walk through life with a soundtrack constantly playing in my head. As soon as I decided to start running, I knew that I'd need to have good music. It propels me past hurdles when my legs are killing me and I want to stop, when I'm tired, and it especially propels me through all the mental setbacks. Good music for me is KEY. 

As I progress in my running journey, I realize now that I don't even hesitate about putting on my running shoes and going out for my run. Sure I'm in the middle of a training plan, and sure I'm trying to lose some weight and keep up with my fitness challenge, but I have also realized that this has become a routine and a way of life for me. I'm pushing myself waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone. I swore I'd never run more than a mile or two, and now I'm gearing up for a 5 mile run tomorrow. The mind and body are truly amazing when you think about what they can do. 

Tonight I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite running songs. It's not new, by any means, but I find it so motivating. I listen to it on every run, and it does inspire me to push harder. Maybe you'll use it the next time you're working out, walking, or even running. :-)

Life is a Journey.

2016 is the year I hit rock bottom. With my weight, that is. I've been trying to "lose weight" since Chloe was born. Ummmmm that was 2 1/2 years ago. Right before the new year, something inside me just clicked. I don't know what it was, or how it happened, but I was determined to make a change, starting with how I feel about myself. I'm a Spinning instructor at my local gym, and I feel like a complete fraud: helping people reach their fitness goals, talking about nutrition, talking about exercise plans...and then I go home, and I can't even make these things happen for myself.

I became fixated on getting fit, eating better, and dropping some weight...just as soon as January 1st rolled around. I needed to have one last indulgent day and enjoy my New Year's Eve. Aaaaaaaand New Year's Day. I began this journey on January 2nd, and I haven't looked back.

While I have only been on this journey for a month, it has been an emotional one for me. I am determined to accomplish "something", but I could never quite put into perspective what I want from myself or what my long term goals need to be. I don't want to begin to work hard and not know what the end result is going to be. I simply decided...start working out. That's all well and good, but it just didn't resonate with me. While posting my "goals" on Facebook one day so I could get my inspiration, my sister in law made a comment.


"Why don't you run the half marathon with me this year?"


What? (*cups hand over her ear) What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you.


Me run a half marathon?! Seriously?? I ran a couple of 5K's in my lifetime, and one 3 mile Turkey Trot, and I barely made it through those. Never in my life have I tried to run anything remotely high in mileage and athletic ability. I brushed off the idea and told her I would think about it. Someday. I'm not the runner in my family. My sisters are both runners, my husband is a marathon runner, and so is my brother in law. I told my husband and he gave me some pointers, encouraging me to do it. I told him he was crazy. I'm better in Spin class and doing powerful gym classes. I said thanks, and I moved on. But I didn't.


I couldn't get the thought of running out of my head. What would it take to run a half marathon? Would I be able to train for it and still take care of a toddler? What kind of training plan would I use? Should I get new sneakers? Oh, and of course, the kicker here...I can't even run! What if?...Would I?...Can I?...So many questions, so much doubt, and oddly enough, a giant burst of determination.


It was an idle Saturday night when I sat at my laptop and found myself registering for the race. I did it without thought. And honestly, it has been amazing so far. Like I said earlier, I am not a runner, but now I find myself saying, "I'm a runner." Just registering for the race got me so pumped, that I immediately started training the very next day. When I started jogging (yes, jogging, because my feet barely left the ground and I felt like I was walking instead!) at the start of January, I couldn't even complete a mile. This felt oddly like trying to run the mile in gym class back in high school. Ugh. I was so slow, I had to walk for a bit, and when I completed the mile I really did feel like I had been put through the wringer. How was I going to run 13.1 MILES?????


I began a fitness challenge at work, and I slowly started incorporating more cross training into my routine. I discovered that I absolutely love boxing! I got a pair of gloves, and I really pushed myself each week. With a lot of strength training and core workouts, I felt myself getting stronger within my running. My clothes are starting to fit better. I have more energy. I'm making better food choices. And get this...I actually LOOK FORWARD to running! (I think it's my music playlist that gets me pumped up. You need good music when you're working out! That's my #1 rule!) I visualize running that last mile, or crossing the finish line, or seeing spectators on the side cheering me on. I've always been one of the cheering spectators on the sideline, so it will be an amazing experience to be the runner this time.


So without boring you anymore, that's my story. That cat is out of the bag. This overweight girl, who never ran more than 3 miles (like 6 years ago) has been training for her first half marathon. I know it's peanuts to some people, but I'm already up to 3.5. miles without walking. And you know what, I'm proud of myself! This is only the beginning, but I'm really looking forward to the results. (**Sidenote: A giant THANK YOU to my sister in law, Stacy, for planting the seed in my head. I NEVER would have considered it! Plus, the route is flat. Flat, flat, flat! lol)


"But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
 ~ Robert Frost

A Summer Cold

#SOL15

There's nothing like a summer cold to really make you feel miserable. Well, I'm sure there are plenty of things far worse, but getting knocked flat on your you-know-what by a cold that comes out of nowhere is just the worst. When the sun is shining bright and the pool is calling your name, no one wants to be stuck on the couch with a box of tissues, DayQuil, and a stuffy nose.

Hmmmm...that "stuck on the couch" part only comes in the evening after I put my daughter to bed. If you have a toddler, you know all too well that there is no time to be sick. I have to give my daughter a lot of credit, actually. She's quickly approaching her second birthday (Next month! Where did the time go?!), and she certainly could've been an absolute terror. She was such a good girl yesterday, even when we went out to run some errands. I had to get out of the house and get some fresh air. I'd like to believe on some level she knew I wasn't feeling well. I mean, I did say 50 times "Mommy doesn't feel well. Thank you for being a good girl", but I was just trying to drill the point home in order to make the day easier for myself. haha. Dinnertime went well, bathtime was a breeze, and the bedtime routine wasn't as long and drawn out as it normally can be. Thank you, universe! :-)

The "stuck on the couch" portion of being sick can sometimes be awful, but truthfully I have a new guilty pleasure. My new addiction. Hulu. Yes, that's right. The website Hulu shows every TV show you can think of, and I. Love. It. We have AppleTV, so I watch things like Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube right on my television. My friend got me into a show called Mistresses. Have you heard of it? I am hooked! I watch about 2 episodes nightly, unless something mind blowing happens and I need to see the next episode. I'm trying to catch up to the episodes that are now airing on Thursday night, and I'll be bummed when I have to watch it on live TV. That's what DVR is for, right? So you can fast forward through all the commercials. :-)

So as I try and kick this summer cold, I look forward to my downtime at night. I wish I felt better to fully enjoy what I'm watching, but I'm pretty sure I'll be cured in no time.

Woohoooooo!  :-)

Saturday Night's Alright For...Sleeping?

Hello! It has been so long since I last posted a mommy blog, or really any blog for that matter. I was at a BBQ today and a family member asked me if I was still blogging. I told her I thought about it each and every night, but I never actually have time to sit down and write. I'm making time TONIGHT.

You may be thinking I haven't blogged because I don't have material to write about. That's not the case at all. Chloe has kept me chock full of topics and interesting information. But if I'm being honest at all here, I'll tell you that my daughter just doesn't sleep anymore. She has a hard time going down at night, and then she wakes up in the middle of the night. Please tell me I'm not alone here! There are other moms that have been where I am, right? (Or many that are there with me right now??) She used to be such a wonderful sleeper, and I have no idea what happened. Functioning in day to day life as a zombie is just something I do on a daily basis at this point. But this is my point as to why blogging has been so hard for me lately. By the time she finally falls asleep at night, and I do all my nightly duties and chores (Don't you just love mom chores?!), I sit down on the couch and I'm done for the day. I know I have to get to bed at some point because, like clockwork, she will be up again in the middle of the night.

I remember when I was pregnant I always used to say, "When I have a kid I will never...(insert random piece of insane information here.) Well, get used to it because those wonderful lines and pearls of wisdom will often get chucked to the wind just to protect our sanity. 
"When I have a kid I will never, ever let her sleep in our bed." Ahem...well, ummm...mom fail. Chloe hasn't slept peacefully for so long, and the only way we got any ounce of sleep at all was to...well you know. Don't make me say it. My alarm would go off at 5am for work, and some days she would keep me up till 4-4:30. Have you ever gone to work functioning on that little sleep? Have you ever had the feeling that no amount of coffee or espresso in the world can help you on that particular day? Chances are you have, and chances are you're a mom. (or a dad). At those hours of the night, my husband and I do whatever we need to do to survive, and that meant that if we had to bring her in bed with us, so be it. Of course there are the obligatory elbows to the face, feet to the gut, and slaps to the cheek; that goes without saying. 

So here I am, months later (yes, she has been doing this sleepless dance for months), and I'm trying to collect my thoughts. I forgot how therapeutic writing is for me. It's nice to put this stuff out to the masses because then you feel like you're not alone! I love having conversations with people who look at me wide eyed and in shock saying, "Your daughter still doesn't sleep?? Oh my son/daughter has slept every day since he/she came home from the hospital. And they sleep for 12 hours." Ugh. Sigh. Liars. But when you get a nice, honest answer about how they have been through what you're going through and that it does get easier, then I somehow feel a lot more normal. Most of the time. Sleep training is its own special kind of hell. So when you get in bed tonight, or lay your little one down, say a little prayer for me that my munchkin sleeps through the night tonight. 

CPR/AED Certification

Hello there! I know, it has been a long while since I've written a new post. I can explain. I'll give you the Cliff's Notes version, but we just moved last week, it was also our three year anniversary, and to top it all off, we took a trip to Cooperstown for the weekend. (Yes, kid-free! I missed the little peanut, but it was a great getaway with the Mister.) So with everything packed into one week, AND all the prep leading up to such big events, you can understand why I went on a small hiatus. But I'm back now!

Today I took a CPR/AED course to fulfill a requirement for my other job. I make it sound like an obligation, but truly, it really is something I should know and keep with me. I have a young daughter, and god forbid...I'm not going there. Anyway, I've taken the course several times before, and I usually renew my certification every two years. This time, the course was a lot different for me. Maybe it's because I am a parent now. All I can say is that I never realized how truly important it is for someone to know CPR. Not everyone knows what an AED machine is, and that's fine, but being able to administer CPR can possibly save a life.

I honestly hope I never have to use my CPR training. Could you imagine?? The instructor had some interesting stories to tell us, and I can't imagine standing in his shoes for any of those events. If you can get CPR certified, I highly recommend doing it. If the course comes with AED training as well, I suggest that avenue as well. As an educator, at my regular job and at the gym, it's pretty much mandatory for me to have this under my belt. I have been thinking about the course and material all day long. That's how much it hit me this time around. It's a good feeling tonight, as I'm about to go to bed, that I know all my loved ones are safe and sound, and that they're healthy.