Hello! It has been so long since I last posted a mommy blog, or really any blog for that matter. I was at a BBQ today and a family member asked me if I was still blogging. I told her I thought about it each and every night, but I never actually have time to sit down and write. I'm making time TONIGHT.
You may be thinking I haven't blogged because I don't have material to write about. That's not the case at all. Chloe has kept me chock full of topics and interesting information. But if I'm being honest at all here, I'll tell you that my daughter just doesn't sleep anymore. She has a hard time going down at night, and then she wakes up in the middle of the night. Please tell me I'm not alone here! There are other moms that have been where I am, right? (Or many that are there with me right now??) She used to be such a wonderful sleeper, and I have no idea what happened. Functioning in day to day life as a zombie is just something I do on a daily basis at this point. But this is my point as to why blogging has been so hard for me lately. By the time she finally falls asleep at night, and I do all my nightly duties and chores (Don't you just love mom chores?!), I sit down on the couch and I'm done for the day. I know I have to get to bed at some point because, like clockwork, she will be up again in the middle of the night.
I remember when I was pregnant I always used to say, "When I have a kid I will never...(insert random piece of insane information here.) Well, get used to it because those wonderful lines and pearls of wisdom will often get chucked to the wind just to protect our sanity.
"When I have a kid I will never, ever let her sleep in our bed." Ahem...well, ummm...mom fail. Chloe hasn't slept peacefully for so long, and the only way we got any ounce of sleep at all was to...well you know. Don't make me say it. My alarm would go off at 5am for work, and some days she would keep me up till 4-4:30. Have you ever gone to work functioning on that little sleep? Have you ever had the feeling that no amount of coffee or espresso in the world can help you on that particular day? Chances are you have, and chances are you're a mom. (or a dad). At those hours of the night, my husband and I do whatever we need to do to survive, and that meant that if we had to bring her in bed with us, so be it. Of course there are the obligatory elbows to the face, feet to the gut, and slaps to the cheek; that goes without saying.
So here I am, months later (yes, she has been doing this sleepless dance for months), and I'm trying to collect my thoughts. I forgot how therapeutic writing is for me. It's nice to put this stuff out to the masses because then you feel like you're not alone! I love having conversations with people who look at me wide eyed and in shock saying, "Your daughter still doesn't sleep?? Oh my son/daughter has slept every day since he/she came home from the hospital. And they sleep for 12 hours." Ugh. Sigh. Liars. But when you get a nice, honest answer about how they have been through what you're going through and that it does get easier, then I somehow feel a lot more normal. Most of the time. Sleep training is its own special kind of hell. So when you get in bed tonight, or lay your little one down, say a little prayer for me that my munchkin sleeps through the night tonight.