Friday, January 29, 2016

Life is a Journey.

2016 is the year I hit rock bottom. With my weight, that is. I've been trying to "lose weight" since Chloe was born. Ummmmm that was 2 1/2 years ago. Right before the new year, something inside me just clicked. I don't know what it was, or how it happened, but I was determined to make a change, starting with how I feel about myself. I'm a Spinning instructor at my local gym, and I feel like a complete fraud: helping people reach their fitness goals, talking about nutrition, talking about exercise plans...and then I go home, and I can't even make these things happen for myself.

I became fixated on getting fit, eating better, and dropping some weight...just as soon as January 1st rolled around. I needed to have one last indulgent day and enjoy my New Year's Eve. Aaaaaaaand New Year's Day. I began this journey on January 2nd, and I haven't looked back.

While I have only been on this journey for a month, it has been an emotional one for me. I am determined to accomplish "something", but I could never quite put into perspective what I want from myself or what my long term goals need to be. I don't want to begin to work hard and not know what the end result is going to be. I simply decided...start working out. That's all well and good, but it just didn't resonate with me. While posting my "goals" on Facebook one day so I could get my inspiration, my sister in law made a comment.

"Why don't you run the half marathon with me this year?"

What? (*cups hand over her ear) What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Me run a half marathon?! Seriously?? I ran a couple of 5K's in my lifetime, and one 3 mile Turkey Trot, and I barely made it through those. Never in my life have I tried to run anything remotely high in mileage and athletic ability. I brushed off the idea and told her I would think about it. Someday. I'm not the runner in my family. My sisters are both runners, my husband is a marathon runner, and so is my brother in law. I told my husband and he gave me some pointers, encouraging me to do it. I told him he was crazy. I'm better in Spin class and doing powerful gym classes. I said thanks, and I moved on. But I didn't.

I couldn't get the thought of running out of my head. What would it take to run a half marathon? Would I be able to train for it and still take care of a toddler? What kind of training plan would I use? Should I get new sneakers? Oh, and of course, the kicker here...I can't even run! What if?...Would I?...Can I?...So many questions, so much doubt, and oddly enough, a giant burst of determination.

It was an idle Saturday night when I sat at my laptop and found myself registering for the race. I did it without thought. And honestly, it has been amazing so far. Like I said earlier, I am not a runner, but now I find myself saying, "I'm a runner." Just registering for the race got me so pumped, that I immediately started training the very next day. When I started jogging (yes, jogging, because my feet barely left the ground and I felt like I was walking instead!) at the start of January, I couldn't even complete a mile. This felt oddly like trying to run the mile in gym class back in high school. Ugh. I was so slow, I had to walk for a bit, and when I completed the mile I really did feel like I had been put through the wringer. How was I going to run 13.1 MILES?????

I began a fitness challenge at work, and I slowly started incorporating more cross training into my routine. I discovered that I absolutely love boxing! I got a pair of gloves, and I really pushed myself each week. With a lot of strength training and core workouts, I felt myself getting stronger within my running. My clothes are starting to fit better. I have more energy. I'm making better food choices. And get this...I actually LOOK FORWARD to running! (I think it's my music playlist that gets me pumped up. You need good music when you're working out! That's my #1 rule!) I visualize running that last mile, or crossing the finish line, or seeing spectators on the side cheering me on. I've always been one of the cheering spectators on the sideline, so it will be an amazing experience to be the runner this time.

So without boring you anymore, that's my story. That cat is out of the bag. This overweight girl, who never ran more than 3 miles (like 6 years ago) has been training for her first half marathon. I know it's peanuts to some people, but I'm already up to 3.5. miles without walking. And you know what, I'm proud of myself! This is only the beginning, but I'm really looking forward to the results. (**Sidenote: A giant THANK YOU to my sister in law, Stacy, for planting the seed in my head. I NEVER would have considered it! Plus, the route is flat. Flat, flat, flat! lol)

"But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
 ~ Robert Frost


  1. So cool to read and hear your story! We all have a story :)...glad you are feeling good and enthusiastic about your journey! It can certainly be a roller coaster. Keep it up!

    1. Thanks so much, Kristen! I never felt like I actually had a story, but now I do. :-) It feels great to be moving and doing something big for myself.

  2. I can't wait to read your next chapter. Keep on moving on.

    1. Thanks, Anita! It will be really helpful, and great for my headspace, to keep posting as I'm going along. This is also testimony to show Chloe that she can do anything she wants...even if she thinks she can't do it! :-)